Okay, I admit it. I just LOVE reading Craigslist Farm & Garden section. Specifically the horse adverts, of course. I mean what other free reading material is there that takes you on an emotional rollercoaster comparable to those sweet little ad nuggets? Inevitably when I sit down to browse Craigslist F&G I quickly experience excitement, depression, hilarity and finally, despair. There is so much wrong with 90% of the horse advertisements posted. So very much.
First, of course, there is the deep and often total lack of spelling ability. Now I know, everyone has different skills etc etc but the Spell Check button is king and good GRIEF pressing it is free! My favorite (and by that I mean it makes me want to grind me teeth) is the ads that start with either "For Sell" or "Must Sale" ......I mean...man, I just want to go all crazy grammar bitch on them! And I'm not perfect, by ANY MEANS, there have to be hundreds of grammatical gaffs occurring in this blog. But its the basics folks, the basics. There are so many different ways in life to see and understand the concept of For Sale or Must Sell, you know, like signs. Everywhere. Or other ads. The rest of the ads often contain more spelling folly but then, after that ad title you knew it was coming, right?
Then there are the pictures. And lack thereof. In a brief aside I will say my attention span is quite short while enjoying C F&G, so if you don't have a photo up I probably won't even open the ad. Unless you have some fantastic title like "3 Legged Unikorn For Sell." But back to the photos themselves, when present. You see anything in these photos from a faint smudge of brown at the end of a pasture that might be a horse, to a full body shot of a hairy beast standing knee deep mud. Toddlers sitting three astride--without helmets--on a stallion, horses tied to precarious objects. You get the idea. I've sold quite a few things on craigslist, including a few horses, and I found it takes about 15 minutes to pull your horse, give it a thorough brushing, and stand it on level ground for a photo--as a minimum. Its also pretty quick to throw your saddle and bridle on there and hop on up and get a few snaps taken to prove that the horse can, in fact, be ridden! But hey, this is free Craigslist advertising so any photo is better than none.
Of course you read all sort of fantastical things in the body of the ads as well. My favorite one today, found on Gold Country Craigslist F&G (oh yeah, did I mention I read multiple cities F&G's, for maximum pain/pleasure?). The ad was for a 6 1/2 yr old Bay Thoroughbred Gelding. Here is my now-beloved quote: "Trailers, stands for ferrier and shots well, you can stick your fingers in his mouth and pull his tail." Well by gory, you betcha, if I bought that there gelding I would just be darn sure to continue the standard horse training technique of sticking my fingers in his mouth and pulling on his tail. Honestly what I really would like is to ask the writer of this ad why that made sense as something to type in the ad? Okay, I guess I really follow this thing through to its conclusion, its just a good old fashioned explanation that the horse isn't a biting, kicking terror, because here he is with fingers stuck in his mouth and someone yanking his tail and no one has had their head caved in yet. But then if you really read it, does it mean you can only pull his tail when sticking your fingers in his mouth?
Here is another random thing I thought of as I did my daily C F&G browsing this morning. How much of a cosmic F U is it to breed for paints and get an APHA foal that is solid colored??! Please tell me if I'm crazy but it just seems so damn ironic to click on an ad titled "Beautiful APHA Gelding For Sale" and see a picture of a solid chestnut standing there. I had lots of excitement over what color (and gender) my foal would be this year, and that was without any exciting parti-colors available in the mix. I got my flashy chestnut filly with big white markings and then it was all the excitement about will she gray out. Luckily I have a big, healthy, 5 month old redhead on my hands and she is here to stay. Of COURSE the priority is a healthy, safe foaling but I'm speaking to
our more shallow sides that are just a little obsessed with a Horse of
the Right Color, whatever that respective color may mean to each of us. So just imagine the excitement and debate over what color your APHA foal will be.. Ooo la la its foaling day! And then here comes a cute, healthy....BROWN foal. Boyyyyy I think I would be a little bitter about that, no fooling. What can I say, I just get a little snicker out of those breeding stock APHA ads. I'm sure the same must happen with Appaloosas, though I know nothing about that breed.
Anyway, the bottom line is Craigslist F&G is a wonderful read and while it may leave me with a bad taste in my mouth sometimes and I've even sworn it off a time or two, I'm always back clicking on those little blue advert links eventually.